Because Naturally Red Walls Need A Mustard Trim

It's done. We have moved. "Yours is the worst two-bed semi we've ever done", said one of the removal men in weary tones, while wrestling our giant sofa. "It's like moving the Amazon", said another. (We may have required them to move multiple olive trees, huge potted bamboos, and several dozen pot plants.) "You don't want to take all these dead plants with you love, do you?" came the hopeful enquiry. Yes, yes we do. "And surely you don't want this nasty bit of wood, do you?". We surely do, load 'er up (said nasty bit of wood was in fact a very nice, albeit slightly damp and slimey, 3m 2x2 piece of pressure-treated timber).

And here we are - the proud possessors of a large, draughty Victorian house that hasn't been updated in 25 years. It's completely fabulous and we love every inch of it. Would you like to take a little tour?

Here's the rear elevation:

The playroom (which will eventually become a kitchen/diner):

The kitchen (or as we call it, the tiny unheated room with a cooker, sink, and a couple of wonky cupboards):

The master bedroom - because naturally one paints the ceiling red to match the red walls, adds a red carpet for variety, and a delightful mustard trim for interest:

The turquoise bathroom (someone actually took the time to hand paint the freize):

The cellar. Do you see the boxes on the table? They belong to us. Every single other item was left by the previous owners, who apparently thought we would value (among other things) a plastic commode, a large plaster statue of a pig wearing a butcher's apron and a sinister expression, and a collection of ornate walking sticks:

And the ornamental pond (which we have already drained on the grounds that it's hard enough keeping the dogs clean without providing them with a pool of filthy water to hurl themselves into repeatedly during the course of the day):

We also have a morning room, living room, three other bedrooms, two other cellars, and a second bathroom. Yep, we're clearly going to be renovating this house for the next ten years.

First up - the spare bedroom. Oh, the novelty of actually having room for overnight guests! We've already started ripping the dark blue wallpaper off the walls (uncovering large chunks of the original Victorian plaster, complete with original Victorian horsehair insulation. Plastering can't be that hard to DIY... right?